Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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