Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
