i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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