Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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