a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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