I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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