he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
