thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
