Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
