What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
