His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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