i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
