Who did Billy Mays play for?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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