just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
