Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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