i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
