Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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