You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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