I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
