after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
