his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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