Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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