3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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