i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize