That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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