we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
