Got a toothbrush?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
