He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
