Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
