I cockslap morals
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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