i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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