did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
