yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
