Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no you cant smoke seaweed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
