oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
did you just send me my own nude
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
