hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
