I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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