how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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