is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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