I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
