ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
