no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
