So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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