never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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