I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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