What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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