Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
