i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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