We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
