I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I want to have your abortion
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
