Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I party with great urgency now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
