Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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