Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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