I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
