"it" just moved
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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