And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
