so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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