Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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