I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
