Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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