Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
