Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I would ride that face into the sunset
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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