I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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