Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
