Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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