I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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