You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
